Britt’s Hinge Dating Fails

If dating in your 20’s isn’t hard enough, throw in a world pandemic. So what do I do like the rest of the single twenty-somethings? Download Hinge of course!

Now, I want to preface this post with two things: 1. this is by no way intended to make fun of the male population, any individual person, or anything like that. I just wanted to share a light on my experiences and hopefully create a few laughs along the way. Girls, if any of these have happened to you, please let me know so we can discuss/laugh together! 2. I am extremely safe if I do end up going on a date with a guy, I always meet in a public spot, my location is shared with someone, and I have an escape plan. Being through a sexual assault trauma and a toxic/abusive relationship, I take safety very seriously. But I know, I’m never going to meet my person if I don’t put myself out there! I never know when I am going to meet my prince charming!

So let’s get started!

The Guy That Just Asks For Your Snapchat

At the top of the list, is probably the guy I run into most. We get chatting and then right away it’s “Do you have snap?” I just don’t get this one. What is the difference between asking for my phone number and Snapchat? I hear this all the time from girls who feel the same way – so I know I’m not alone when I say this is a turn off to me. Are men scared to ask for my phone number? If a guy reading this can give me some insight on why they would rather communicate through snapchat please let me know!!

The Guy That Ghosts You

This one I think is just so mean and shows immaturity. But this one goes both ways. If you are not feeling it with someone, no matter what stage you are at, express that! There is nothing worse than when the person just completely goes away and you never hear from them again. I know it is hard to end things with someone, but in the end you are doing yourself and that person a favor. STOP GHOSTING PEOPLE!

The Guy That Doesn’t Think You’re Outdoorsy Enough

I think I am pretty transparent about myself. I am very girlie, love pink, all of us here know who I am. However, I do enjoy the outdoors and adventurous stuff. But when a guy told me I was not outdoorsy enough for him, I almost spit my drink out! First of all, this was when there was about 2 feet of snow on the ground, so no I was not spending anytime outdoors, and let me reiterate that world pandemic. But whatever made him feel better, am I right?

The Guy That Claims He “Loves Wine”, But Turns Out He’s Only Had Communion Wine

One thing that is huge to me is honesty. Honesty starts in the beginning. This one fine gentleman told me that he was a big wino and really enjoyed wine like I do. So I thought a great date idea would be to go wine tasting. He of course agreed, and I was excited to drink some wine and hopefully have some good conversation. When we got to the winery I asked him if he was a red or a white fan. He then decided to inform me that this was the first time he was having wine outside of communion at church and champagne at a wedding! Again another instance when I almost spit out my drink. So while I enjoyed my flight of red wine, this guy had a whole lesson and enjoyed all of the fruity dessert wines aka grape juice. Just be honest up front and you will avoid awkward situations.

The Guy Who Talks About Geckos For 45 Minutes

Something that gives me the heebie-jeebies are reptiles, snakes, and lizards. They just seem slimy and I prefer fluffy dogs as pets. So when this guy proceeded to tell me everything he knows about his pet geckos, I again wanted to spit my drink out. I got to learn their names, their hobbies, what they feel like, their personality, how they like car rides, what they eat, everything. Needless to say I know everything I would ever want to know about geckos. This was hands down the most awkward first date I have ever been on. Being someone who likes to make people feel comfortable I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I listened and nodded and smiled my way through the gecko lesson.

The Guy Who Ended Up Being Your Brother’s Doppelgänger

There was absolutely nothing wrong with this guy. He was such a sweetheart and a nice guy, but the only issue was that he was legit my little brother Blake. From his looks, to his personality, to his profession (aerospace engineering), to the same exact glasses (this one was weird), to his interests (space, hammocking, outdoorsy stuff, video games, playing guitar), to the same favorite bands and taste in music, to just about everything: I was in fact on a date with my brother. My family cracks up at this one because my brother is soo not my type just as I would never be the kind of girl that Blake is interested in. But it was funny, and we can all laugh about it now!

The Guy Who Still Thinks He’s In A Frat

I was in a sorority, and had my fair share of experiences with fraternity boys. Some of my best guy friends were in fraternities, and can confidently say that not all frat dudes are douche bags. But, when you are 28 years old and still act like a frat boy, that is not going to fly with me. I do not want to talk ill of anyone, but this guy was one for the books. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone orders for me. So when this gentleman ordered the one thing on the menu that I said I did not want, I knew he was just looking for someone to hear him talk. He in fact wanted the whole restaurant to hear him talk he was so loud, the tables around us kept looking and giving me weird looks. The final straw was when he used a derogatory term to describe our waiter. I was out like flash. We don’t need another chad in our life, am I right ladies?

The Guy That Walks Out And Leaves You With The Bill

I saved the worst first date story for last. Respect is a HUGE thing for me, and when a man does not respect me he loses all points in my book. This date went wrong from the moment I met him. First red flag: showed up 10 minutes late, so I proceeded to order a beer while I waited. Not even the third sentence out of his mouth was that he does not drink. I have no issues if a person does not partake in alcoholic beverages, I just wouldn’t suggest meeting at a bar. But, it gets better. Not only did he not drink, he thought it was “disrespectful if women drank.” After that I should’ve just kindly left. But it gets better don’t worry!

Knowing the bar manager, he wanted to do something kind and brought over 2 shots on the house. I didn’t even have time to explain before the guy was refusing his shot because he didn’t drink and told him that I would not be accepting mine either. Now I was raised to not turn down a free drink and at this point I was over the disrespect. So I didn’t just take my shot, but I took his too. This put him over the edge, so he pushed his barstool left and told me “have a nice life”. Leaving me alone and with the bill.

So NEEDLESS to say I have had some interesting dates, but in the end I learn something about each one, and can laugh about them with my girlfriends later. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs before kissing your prince. So I will keep putting myself out there. One day I know I will have a good one! I would love to hear your worst dating stories.

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